As I laid down in bed last night I told myself I needed to restructure my life. You see; I no longer wake up early, meditate, write morning pages, then go for a run after I drop my son or do yoga and so on. On one hand I’m perplexed as to what happens to the regained time I used to spend on these things, on the other I’m amazed that I no longer need to be soothed so much with these activities as my mind feels less frantic, calmer and happier, even ecstatic now that I just recovered from a cold. Away from an A type personality dominated world, I’m thrilled to be alive most of the time. But at the same time I’d like to instill these habits back into my routine because I crave to create, and that requires discipline and routine. Time evaporates from your hands so fast; taking care of a family is in fact a full time job, and you end up with nothing to show for it. It matters to instill habits along with a scheduled time to create.
So last night I told myself to wake up at 6AM, meditate, and write the morning pages, and then start my day. As I imagined doing it I noticed it felt like such a good idea now, but tomorrow when I wake up the voice in my head will be the other one, the cranky, observant one, the one that needs to take things slow, stay in bed longer, the one that can’t stand cold, and that one was sure to reject this noble plan I suddenly realized.
Do you notice how you sound different in your head night and day? I find that early mornings the cranky one reigns, and then the responsible adult, and then the restless one and the loving mother and towards the end of the day the traffic monster who notices every single light is against her, and then finally the calm, happy companion who reads into the night. I understand I need to convince the cranky one in the morning to do these things or wait before bed to get them done with my calm, collected self. She isn’t convinced, yet…
What about you? What does the voice in your head sound like in the morning, and then later in the night?
